Free Amy Schumer!


  • Contributor

    Gofundme.com/fgrrxfyh

    AMY SCHUMER HAS BEEN ARRESTED!!

    Fascism has come to America. Not under a swastika. Not under a cross. Not even under an American flag.

    No. Under a WHITE FRAT BOY of privilege swilling cheap beer. Creepily groping his way to the supreme court.

    Do YOU BELIEVE WOMEN?

    I DO.

    I am a white male feminist. You shouldn't even believe anything I say, but I have to tell MY TRUTH.

    I've known Amy for ten years. We met at a dive bar in New York.

    I was a college student at the time. She is a struggling comedian.

    She is the funniest, happy go lucky woman I've ever met, and I love her from my <3.

    No, we're not "together." Put that thought from your head. Our relationship is one of loyalty, purity, chivalry, and giving.

    Amy is my queen. The center of my life.

    When I approached her the first time, I was a shy, 20 something kid. But that's NO EXCUSE. What I did was wrong. No excuses. Even though I was naive. What I did was NOT OKAY.

    I asked if I could buy her a drink. That is what started me down this long journey.

    This is no rom com storyline. I didn't sweep Amy off her feet. How could I.

    She is a woman of unparalleled gravitas.

    She told me in no uncertain terms I, in approaching her, was perpetuating RAPE . Indeed I was. I had at that time wanted to enter her.

    When she left that first night with a well dressed tall man, probably her driver , I was taken aback, and committed myself to get my act together.

    As a white man, I knew it may be impossible to make myself worthy of her approval. But would I give up?

    Sure, I could have taken the easy way out, and identified as a gender nonbinary, but that would have been a cop out. I desperately sought Amy's love and approval, and told myself, no matter what, I would bear that weight, for both of us.

    Well, its been a long slog, but since those days, I can say with pride that Amy has let me in. No, not sexually. We are above that.

    She's allowed me to continue in her presence for these years, and it has been wonderful. She is the center of my world.

    She is a GOOD WOMAN, and for protesting against serial rapist Brett Kavanaugh, is locked up.

    She is subsisting now on a merely minimal calorie intake, in JAIL, and this could go on for days. Her uncle Chuck has been fighting the good fight, and will bail her out asap.

    In the meantime, all donations are appreciated. Amy is hungry. You can't understand HOW HUNGRY Amy is. She needs to eat!


  • Contributor

    @b_ she's hungry for a good stiff cock raming down her throat. There's no feminist woman, including lesbians, who's not a cheap whore deep inside.


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