Hype of Tequila Shortage on the Rise
chumba last edited by DontGive
Tequila connoisseurs and Chumbas everywhere are increasingly being alarmed and given a case of the jitters at the prospect of a tequila shortage.
As Reuters reports via the NYPost (which was ripped by Maxim, what kind of fucking journalistic standards are these, buy a damn Reuters license, Maxim) the increasing demand for tequila over the past couple years has driven agave growers in Mexico to harvest plants ahead of schedule to fill demand in a climate of increasing debauchery. The premature harvesting of agave, the source plant that is fermented into the intoxicating cactus juice, only aggravates the problem as now newly cultivated plants will take time to mature to harvest readiness, almost guaranteeing a shortage.
In other words, they pushed out an impending shortage as long as possible, perhaps not considering the ultimate ramifications, or perhaps they did so knowing they were shooting themselves in the foot. Either way, their crop management obviously has problems. Maybe there aren't enough Mexicans in Mexico to work the agave fields because they're all over here in the US working in the salad fields and drinking up all the tequila after laboring 14 hours in the sun? Wouldn't that be ironic.
Furthermore, if the shortage is real and the price shoots up for a prolonged period of time, this may cause damage to the industry in the long term as people will just switch to Moscow Mules and Blood Mary's for their spirit imbibement, leaving behind their margarita's reluctantly but with short-lived regret because, let's face it, the other stuff will get you drunk all the same. (Well, not entirely, there is something...mmmm, special, about tequila :P)
Whatever the deal, whether an actual shortage is looming or this is just a concerted ploy by the Mexicans to goose the price and sale of tequila for some short term profits, Chumba is gonna beat the crowd and go in on a case, cuz he likes him some tequila.
@chumba you know what they say? If there's no more mezcaline then take some LSD. First it's stronger, and it's also better.
And if there's no more agave there will always be moar sugar to ferment with dead rats. Word on the streets is that it's even better when clandestinely brewed in a garage on the outskirts of Chihuahua.
Btw what's the latest quote for a barrel?